Life on The River Bottom

Larry Achmidier - Beat Writer
Larry has been around the game for years. Hired on to be the analytical pulse of our Carp coverage, he brings a sharp, in-depth approach to deciphering what is going right and what is going wrong in the waters of the Illinois.

Shane O'Leary - Roster News Bureau Chief
We don't think Shane is related to Mrs. O'Leary (or her cow), but he brings the same fire that burned down the city of Chicago to Life on the River Bottom, keeping everyone up to date on the, constantly changing, Carp roster. Thanks to the hyperactive GM, we had to create a whole position just to cover this.

Maxwell Roberts - Minor League Coverage Czar
Max has never been to a minor league game he didn't like. Situated as the go-to for all things Carp prospects, he brings a daily love of the young Carp as they swim their way towards the majors.

Alora Shaw - Trade Rumors/Token Female Hire
Alora is rarely seen around the Carp because she's busy hiding in closets, wiretapping board rooms, and throwing journalistic grenades into the wheelings and dealings of the franchise. She has been known to whisper in the ears of kings to help bring deals to fruition.

Kip "The Envelope" MacIntyre - Director of Marketing
Kip sells.

Caden Cadenson - Resident Ranter
Caden is the last --or is he just the loudest?-- angry fan of the Carp franchise and shares his name with 17% (maybe it's 64%; we're not really sure) of all Gen Z males. Whether it's a kneejerk reaction to an untimely injury, or Brayan Rocchio suddenly remembering he sucks, Caden is never short on words for the Carp he claims to love.

Leroy Walters - Fisherman.
Leroy can be found sitting slightly slouched in a chair in our common area, regaling everyone with stories (with strangely shifting details) of the time he caught a carp the size of his neighbor's ass. "And if you'd ever seen my neighbor, you'd know this fish were no joke."